"I would rather spend 10 hours reading someone else's source code than
10 minutes listening to Musak waiting for technical support which isn't."
(By Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center)

Hier liegt ein Mann ganz obnegleich;
Im Leibe dick, an Suden reich.
Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt, Here lies a man with sundry flaws
Weil es uns dunkt er sei verreckt. And numerous Sins upon his head;
        We buried him today because
        As far as we can tell, he's dead.

    -- PDQ Bach's epitaph, as requested by his cousin Betty
       Sue Bach and written by the local doggeral catcher;
       "The Definitive Biography of PDQ Bach", Peter Schickele

"What George Washington did for us was to throw out the British, so that we
wouldn't have a fat, insensitive government running our country. Nice try
anyway, George."
    -- D. J. on KSFO/KYA